Friday, April 6, 2012

Me | Right Now

  • Right now it is Holy Week and I am heavy laden with a slight glimpse of the ways that I am inadequate and have nothing in and of myself to offer God.
  • Right now I am feeling humbled and know that in admitting that there must still be lots of pride oozing out of my pores that rears its ugly head every time I give pause. Self apart from Christ isn't lovely.
  • Right now I sound a lot like a frog, thankfully I feel slightly better than I sound.
  • Right now Gracie and Mercy are playing out in the sandbox, even though it is 46 degrees and they both have colds. A change of scene is so much more important for them at the moment. We all agree.
  • Right now Daniel is working on his hundredth Lego creation this week.
  • Right now it's Spring Break.
  • Right now life feels like anything other than a "break".
  • Right now I need desperately to focus on Scripture, because it's healing balm for discouragement and a weary spirit.
  • Right now I am sad.
  • Right now I am deeply at peace.
  • Right now I am deeply puzzled at how those two things can reside so contentedly next to each other in my heart.
  • Right now I am eager for the Spring MOPS Consignment Sale to come so that the stuff I've been collecting in my closet can go away.
  • Right now I am a little concerned that our stray cat might be pregnant.
  • Right now I can't seem to get enough dried mangos.
  • Right now I cry at what appear to my dear husband to be at totally random moments, but the thoughts heavy in my heart explain them quite easily. And he's so good to hold me.
  • Right now I am more in love with my husband than ever before.
  • Right now I am loving that my husband wants to drive me an hour and a half away for a special dinner date at a new restaurant, just because Mom and Dad have the kids for the night.
  • Right now I am receiving great joy in simple things like organizing duplos by color.
  • Right now I am realizing it isn't the best solution to sneak toys away from the kids to sell.
  • Right now I am thinking a lot about why God's hand seems so much more merciful to me and my family. And I'm a bit frightened by it.
  • Right now I have been looking at the Project Life pages I've printed again and again and again. They make me smile from up out of the deepest places.
  • Right now I am loving how Gracie snuggles into me and says, "Mommy, I want you. Mommy, I always want you."
  • Right now I love to hear Mercy giggle.
  • Right now I am loving how Daniel loves to read out loud to me.
  • Right now I am thankful for a God who loves me right where I am this morning. None of my thoughts are unfamiliar to Him. None of them inappropriate. None of them too weighty. None of them too frivolous. None of them unwanted or uncomfortable. Rather he's been looking forward to our time together.
"Do you not know?
     Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
     the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
     and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
     and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
     will renew their strength.
They will soar on the wings like eagles;
     they will run and not grow weary,
     they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

Cami