Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Lessons | Trade These Ashes in for Beauty

Lately I have been following along and reading Billy Graham's Daily Devotion. This morning, with Mother's Day approaching, they addressed the influence of a mother on the lives of her children, good and bad. When I see myself through that filter I am far less satisfied with mediocre. I desire so much more for them than what I am satisfied with for myself.

My own humanity is a lot less lovely than I desire it to be, than I desire it to influence my children.

I am dissatisfied with my heart. I have been disappointed in myself. I am not yet who I long to be. I want more of Christ and less of me in my thoughts. I want to trust fully that God's hand is in things, even if it doesn't seem right, even when I don't understand. And even if it is not, I want to trust that it's okay because God is capable of bringing beauty out of our failures, beauty out of our humanity, beauty out of the less than perfect, beauty out of me.

I have been singing a lot more passionately in our corporate worship lately. One of the songs that seems to be in my thoughts when I wake up and when I lay down is Don Moen's At the Foot of the Cross:

Verse 1:
At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Chorus:
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

Verse 2:
At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

(Repeat Chorus twice, then instrumental)

Bridge:
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

(Repeat twice Chorus)

I lay every burden down
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
At the foot of the cross
At the foot of the cross


I don't relish when the Lord allows me to see some specific ugliness in me and I'm reminded of just how broken I am. That broken flawed self isn't what I desire to be shaping my kids. But I am encouraged because I can lay that humanity at His feet and ask Him to trade these ashes in for beauty.

Cami

Isaiah 61:1-3